Tips on Encouraging a Wrestler during a Losing Season

Did you know most wrestlers will lose more than they win when they first start wrestling? Losing is a natural part of wrestling.

If your child sticks with wrestling and focuses on small improvements over time, then your child will notice they are getting better at wrestling. Let’s talk about how to encourage your child when he/she is losing matches.

encourage your wrestler even when he is losing

Photo Credit: Chickasha Wrestling

Make sure Your Child Wants to Wrestle

Make sure your child wants to wrestle and is not doing it because you want him to. If your child is wrestling because your forcing wrestling on him, your child might as well quit now.

Talk to your child. If your kid truly wants to be a wrestler, then give him 100% support. You need to become his number one fan.

If your child does not want to wrestle, then it’s time to move to another sport where he/she enjoys what they are doing.

Identify what your child needs to improve on

After you have talked to your child, you need to identify areas that need improvement. If you do not have a wrestling background, I suggest you talk to their wrestling coach. Each child is different, but here are some areas that I look at when I rate the strength of a wrestler.

From neutral position (on your feet)

Good stance and movement
Ability to defend a take down
Ability to score a take down

Top Position

Riding technique – does he stay behind the hips, does he break his opponent down
Does he work towards a fall

Bottom Position

Can the wrestler stay off his back
Does the wrestler move from the bottom or lay there?
Can the wrestler score and escape or a reversal?

You would do well to write down your wrestler’s strengths and weaknesses so you know what your wrestler needs to focus on during the season.

Do not be negative with your child

Let me ask you a question. Would you enjoy going to your job if your boss chewed your rear every time you made a mistake? The same applies for your child. You child knows he made some mistakes. Avoid being overly critical with your child after a loss. Tell him you are proud of him and keep encouraging him.

If you want to talk with your child, then wait a day. Only focus on making improvements and keep it in a positive mood.

Praise his Wrestling Accomplishments

When your child does well in a wrestling match, be sure to go out of your way to tell him how well he has done. If you praise him for his good moments in wrestling and avoid criticizing him when he does poorly, your child is more likely to keep making improvements and become a great wrestler.

Focus on One Aspect of Wrestling at a Time

Your Child may have several areas that need improvement. Don’t focus on all of them or you will be wasting your time and overwhelming your child. Instead identity one are that needs the most work. For example, a wrestler may have great defense, but is not attacking. In this case, you need to focus on your wrestler finding one take down that is good at.

Wrestling is not for everyone

If all else fails, you might have to acknowledge that wrestling may not be for your child. This is a tough sport and requires a lot of a wrestler. This is not a bad thing. Everyone has certain skill sets that lend themselves to other sports.

For example, my son is a great football player and a wrestler. He enjoys the combat aspect of both of those sports. On the other hand, he doesn’t make a very good soccer player because he is so big.

If your child is losing most of his matches in his third or fourth year of wrestling, you may consider finding a sport where he has more success.

What are your thoughts?

I hope you enjoyed the article. As an active member of the wrestling community, my goal is to grow this wonderful sport.

Thanks for reading! And as always, feel free to post comments or questions in the comments section below, I’ll be happy to try and answer them as quickly as possible.

Hi my son is 14 yrs old and just started high school. He has not even remotely been interested in any sport since 4th grade. He played baseball until then. This year he wanted to try wrestling. He made the team at school. He has never played wrestling. Which we knew he would not be that good this year because, he has never done it and he had to learn everything. His father and I have been divorced since he was 9. Well, he eats, sleeps and breathes wrestling. He is on JV however, they use him also in Varsity too. Well, he has had an issue that I would like to ask everyone on advice about. He was bullied all through school until 8th grade. His dad moved last year at the end of 8th grade to a better school district. Well, he isn’t being bullied anymore. When wrestling he tends to get an attitude with the referee and, then is so mad it is ridiculous. For an example:

He had JV state championship this past Saturday. He was projected by his coach to place 1st or 2nd. We have seen a huge improvement since he started. Well, during the match he had his opponent pinned for 3 seconds and, the ref did not call it he just said break. Well, my son I’m sure he had a smart attitude said to the ref “I pinned him”. Well, the ref got very mad and I could tell he was mad. He said something to my son then went over to the score table and was saying something and his coach was there too. The next thing I knew the match was starting back up. Well, he got pinned and lost the match. Which meant now he only had a chance at 3rd or 4th. Well, my son was heated and shook hands then took off. His coach stopped me and explained he hated to dicipline my son. However, he had no choice. The ref took a point away and the coach put him on bottom when it resumed. My son had a good chance to beat him. So, then we get to the next match. He is saying the whole time before the match that he is going to get beat and, he is no good. He sucks at wrestling. Of course his dad and I try and explain that it’s ok we were proud of him. I also told him he needed to be more positive. Instead of saying he can’t beat his opponent. He need to syke himself to where he says he can beat him when he goes in the ring. Well, he did really well, but, the opponent was choking him and my son was slapping the boy on the back with both hands. Well, the ref never stopped the match then I’m son just gave up because he couldn’t breath. Well, he was hurt in his ribs also. After he recovered then he started losing his cool. Walked outside started hitting himself in the head. Saying he sucks. Then hiding under his hoodie and crying. He is so critical of himself. We kept telling him he did really good and there was no sense in getting that upset. Well, then his dad and I had an argument because, my son wanted a shirt with his pin on it. Well, his dad told him no because he was not going to reward his behavior. Well, I pulled his dad aside and told him that was not right. He was dicipline day the ref then the coach so, us punishing him was too much. Plus, his shirts are his goal to keep him going.

So, how should we handle these situations correctly with our son?
We do not know where his anger comes from at all, his dad and I never argue or anything around him and never have. It has been since 2011 when we separated. However, his father is a workaholic and he has his old gf back.

Our son loves wrestling but, how can we help him with his attitude and temper? Plus, the bad criticism and low self esteem? I buy him things for wrestling and to get him caught up on the beginning parts of wrestling plus, look up websites for him to read..

Could I please get some help, advice on how to handle this with my son. It is like he is super competitive and, he can not stand to lose at all.. He wi not accept losing..

Reply ↓

Comments

Tips on Encouraging a Wrestler during a Losing Season — 2 Comments

Andrea Dean on February 1, 2016 at 3:31 pm said:

Hi my son is 14 yrs old and just started high school. He has not even remotely been interested in any sport since 4th grade. He played baseball until then. This year he wanted to try wrestling. He made the team at school. He has never played wrestling. Which we knew he would not be that good this year because, he has never done it and he had to learn everything. His father and I have been divorced since he was 9. Well, he eats, sleeps and breathes wrestling. He is on JV however, they use him also in Varsity too. Well, he has had an issue that I would like to ask everyone on advice about. He was bullied all through school until 8th grade. His dad moved last year at the end of 8th grade to a better school district. Well, he isn’t being bullied anymore. When wrestling he tends to get an attitude with the referee and, then is so mad it is ridiculous. For an example:

He had JV state championship this past Saturday. He was projected by his coach to place 1st or 2nd. We have seen a huge improvement since he started. Well, during the match he had his opponent pinned for 3 seconds and, the ref did not call it he just said break. Well, my son I’m sure he had a smart attitude said to the ref “I pinned him”. Well, the ref got very mad and I could tell he was mad. He said something to my son then went over to the score table and was saying something and his coach was there too. The next thing I knew the match was starting back up. Well, he got pinned and lost the match. Which meant now he only had a chance at 3rd or 4th. Well, my son was heated and shook hands then took off. His coach stopped me and explained he hated to dicipline my son. However, he had no choice. The ref took a point away and the coach put him on bottom when it resumed. My son had a good chance to beat him. So, then we get to the next match. He is saying the whole time before the match that he is going to get beat and, he is no good. He sucks at wrestling. Of course his dad and I try and explain that it’s ok we were proud of him. I also told him he needed to be more positive. Instead of saying he can’t beat his opponent. He need to syke himself to where he says he can beat him when he goes in the ring. Well, he did really well, but, the opponent was choking him and my son was slapping the boy on the back with both hands. Well, the ref never stopped the match then I’m son just gave up because he couldn’t breath. Well, he was hurt in his ribs also. After he recovered then he started losing his cool. Walked outside started hitting himself in the head. Saying he sucks. Then hiding under his hoodie and crying. He is so critical of himself. We kept telling him he did really good and there was no sense in getting that upset. Well, then his dad and I had an argument because, my son wanted a shirt with his pin on it. Well, his dad told him no because he was not going to reward his behavior. Well, I pulled his dad aside and told him that was not right. He was dicipline day the ref then the coach so, us punishing him was too much. Plus, his shirts are his goal to keep him going.

So, how should we handle these situations correctly with our son?
We do not know where his anger comes from at all, his dad and I never argue or anything around him and never have. It has been since 2011 when we separated. However, his father is a workaholic and he has his old gf back.

Our son loves wrestling but, how can we help him with his attitude and temper? Plus, the bad criticism and low self esteem? I buy him things for wrestling and to get him caught up on the beginning parts of wrestling plus, look up websites for him to read..

Could I please get some help, advice on how to handle this with my son. It is like he is super competitive and, he can not stand to lose at all.. He wi not accept losing..

Reply ↓
- Les Lieurance on February 1, 2016 at 4:36 pm said:
  
  Andrea: I’ve re-read your comment several times. I am not a counselor or an expert with situations like this, so please keep that in mind. Your son is in a tough situation. I really feel for him. Based on your comment, I don’t think wrestling is what’s making him so mad. Being 14 years old is hard enough. Add bullying and divorce and I can understand some of his behavior. I would keep supporting him in wrestling. Stay positive. I would strongly suggest a family counselor. Your boy really needs is father. I don’t know your situation, but if the father doesn’t spend time with him, then you should talk to the father. If the father won’t step up, then talk to his uncles and grandpas. If all else fails, you will need to fill the role of father. This is a tough situation and I wish I could give you a better answer. Hopefully others in the wrestling community can give you a good answer.
  
  Reply ↓

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